


One digit away from discovering the code of the universe

by afra_schatz



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, John being smart, M/M, sherlock's numerous faults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-04 13:12:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afra_schatz/pseuds/afra_schatz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock, John has discovered, has one single weak spot. Character flaws he has several, mind you. 321. Not that John is counting. But there is one weak spot and it's so ironic that it's hilarious really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One digit away from discovering the code of the universe

Sherlock, John has discovered, has one single weak spot. Character flaws he has several, mind you. 321, as of last week when on a Sunday Sherlock used up all toilet paper in the flat. He used it to stuff it into various pairs of shoes which he’d previously soaked in the tub just to see which brand would help them dry the quickest. Not that John is counting.

The most infuriating character flaw is that Sherlock (in 329 situations) knows exactly that his actions will piss John off. He just doesn’t give a damn and ever since that incident with the pig’s blood in John’s shower gel Sherlock has even given up the pretense. He just lets John rant at him for a minute, or five if he’s feeling exceedingly generous. John expects him to start filing his nails next, just to stress a little more how very much he doesn’t even listen to anything John is saying or shouting.

John has survived a war without any serious mental problems, apart from that little temporary limping issue. But he is pretty sure that cohabiting with Sherlock will end up with him in a mental facility some day. Given Sherlock’s track record, he will probably be locked up _with_ Sherlock.

Just for the record, the number 331 doesn’t include Sherlock’s habit to steal John’s phone or his uncanny ability to show up in bedrooms where John is about to have sex with someone. John has accepted that these are just things that happen.

Sherlock’s weak spot is not his arrogance. His arrogance, in John’s opinion, is entirely justified. Sherlock’s complete faith in his own abilities is what gets results the quickest (even if not always safest or even cleanest) way possible. So, who cares if he is a little rude. He saves lives. Sherlock – and Sherlock gets never tired of constantly reminding the world – is a genius and scarily skilled in the art of deduction. He never tires of sharing his brilliance with the world or, if you want to put it less candidly, of embarrassing people by dragging out their mind‘s dirty underwear into the open, just to point at it and laugh derisively. Villians on several occasions tried to bargain with the cops, promising to confess if in turn one of the cops just accidentally shot Sherlock. Anderson has clearly considered it on several occasions. These days John carefully positions himself between Sherlock and Anderson during Sherlock’s big wrap up explanations.

John has long ago given up on trying to hide anything from Sherlock. Why bother? He could just as well have post its on his forehead, his deepest darkest secrets written onto them with thick black marker. Sherlock knows his computer’s password, he knows that Harry has cheated on her new girlfriend, how much money John lost on fastponies.co.uk last month. And if it makes Sherlock happy for some reason to ask John over breakfast how his morning wank was, then John is okay with that. He doesn’t splutter into his tea anymore nor does he frantically look down at his pyjama bottoms to check whether there is any damning evidence. He just says “Satisfactory, thank you“ and eats the toast he made for Sherlock but that Sherlock hasn’t touched.

Sometimes, when they don’t have a case and they just spend the evening at home, Sherlock stares at John for a solid half hour or longer. Then he tells John en detail what John’s train of thought was, starting from the picture on the mantlepiece, over war stories and the prime minister, to the price of oranges. John listens and he can’t help it, sometimes he still gawps and asks Sherlock whether he can read minds. Even though he knows that Sherlock will arch his brow and tell him in one of his more condecending tones of voices (he has several) “please, there is no such thing as mind-reading, John“. Usually Sherlock’s reconstruction of his thoughts couldn’t be more accurate.

Usually.

Which brings John to Sherlock’s weak spot. Sherlock can read John’s mind (like he has crawled into John’s brain and filed for permanent residence there) but there’s one exception. Sherlock knows what John is thinking, always. Except when John is thinking how brilliant Sherlock is. 

It’s hilarious not only because it’s so ironic but also because Sherlock being clueless is extremely entertaining. John has laughed himself silly when he noticed it for the first time. Sherlock stood next to his armchair and a curious and a disgruntled expression were going to war on his face. John nearly choked on his own laughter.

Usually, it’s a lot like this:

They are at a crime scene and Sherlock is talking a mile a minute, about fingerprints, juggling techniques, shades of lipstick, mating habits of canaries, flaws in fabric. Sherlock things.

John stands next to him and thinks, ‘God, you are brilliant. You’re a genius, I’ve never met anyone like you‘. He thinks something like that quite often, at least 332 times a day. 

Sherlock, as if picking up waves on his radar, stops whatever he is doing. He looks at John with a curiously concentrated frown on his face, like he is a little bit shortsighted and John is the fine print. 

John thinks, ‘It’s impossible that you don’t know, come one, Sherlock, you know everything ‘. 

Sherlock’s expression changes into one of slight annoyance. He reminds John of a cat who has just had it with that frigging ball of yarn that’s always out of reach. It takes Sherlock about three seconds of not-understanding to reach that level of impatience. 

Lestrade gets antsy after a minute of intense silent staring (not at the dead body on the ground but at John). Sherlock tosses him the vital clue off-handedly, solving a murder suddenly only a easily discarded consolation price. John connects the dots and arrives at the solution at about the same time as Lestrade does. He shakes his head and is overwhelmed by Sherlock’s brilliance once again. He thinks that this will never get old, that it gets only more brilliant, Sherlock gets more brilliant every day. 

Sherlock turns up his collar or stuffs his hands into the pockets of coat or runs his long fingers through his hair, or does something equally overly-dramatic. He strides over to John, pushing people (usually disgruntled policemen) out of the way and halts in front of John, deliberately towers over him.

“What _is_ it?“ he demands, annoyed because he has to ask. 

If Sherlock ate the last biscuits earlier in the day John responds, “What, you don’t know? Oh, you’re slipping.“ Otherwise he says, “God, you’re brilliant.“ 

In response there is that look of slight surprise on Sherlock’s face. It‘s a look that took John a while to decipher because Sherlock hardly ever uses it. It’s like his arrogance is thrown of its self-revolving course by the notion that someone else, someone who isn’t Sherlock, noticed Sherlock’s genius. 

John sees it. And he could just tell Sherlock that he’s not only noticing it, but that he’s amazed by it, is blown away by Sherlock’s brilliance and everything that comes in its wake. 

But John knows Sherlock. A secret, a mystery, a puzzle is most valued when it’s yet unsolved. 

So he doesn’t say, "I love you, Sherlock. That’s the answer to the question you’re not asking.“

Providing clues like that would only either get him snorted at derisively or excluded from the game.

So, instead he says, "Now that this murder is solved I could do with a cup of tea.“

For a long moment Sherlock continues looking down at him, one digit away from discovering the code of the universe. Then either John’s arched brows or the prospect of tea make him abandon this newly discovered (and continuously re-discovered) exciting mystery. Abruptly he turns away.

As he strides off, as always expecting John to follow he announces, “First you need to buy biscuits. We’ve run out.“ 

Sherlock has made quite a lot of enemies over the years, and some of them (but less than one might think) are convicted criminals. Still, John figures that one weak spot is acceptable and probably won’t put Sherlock in danger any time soon. 

 

***


End file.
